I need to plant a tree

Dear Trees of the World,

I hope that you will accept my deepest apologies for the harm I have caused your kind. My job forces me to print a sheet for every event we hold at our facility and make 9 copies of said sheet. December is a specifically brutal month for my position and thus your kind suffers in the process. I apologize for my actions and in an attempt to right my wrongs, I will be planting a tree in your honor.

Most Sincerely Yours,

A sorrowful tree harmer

This is proof of my transgressions...this is just Dec. 1- Dec. 11 and just one copy...I did this 9 times. I am so ashamed.

Suicide Knives & Black Tie Domino's

For those of you who are not aware, I am an "event planner". No, I am not J Lo in The Wedding Planner, nor am I one of those crazy planners from TV, like on Bridezillas, etc. Granted, I have my moments of insanity, but for the most part (depending on who you ask) I am not a crazy person. I plan all private events for a dinner club downtown and we have 3 floors with 15 private rooms. So we do anything from business meetings for 4 to weddings for 300 to caterings for 500. December is my time of utter lunacy. From about November 15th (beginning of finalizing plans) to December 24th (last party) some may compare me to a chihuahua (little spastic trying to be in 400 places at once) or a switch board operator as that is what I am doing 90% of the time...answering calls, returning calls, having meetings, emails, texts, faxes, sky writing. Sometimes I wish advancements in technology would cease, cause if these people have one more way to get in touch with me, I may need to find the cave Jesus rose from and rent it for a spell.
December is lots of Starbucks, head down push through, sleep, work, smile, "Happy Holidays" (never Merry Christmas, learned that one the hard way), mac & cheese at midnight...fun times people!

So Friday we had probably our busiest day and it consisted of the following:

6 lunch events (nothing huge)

3 dinner events totalling 200 people at the club

1 catering for 450 at The Tulsa Public Library, a seated 3 course dinner at the library.

Now, let me explain to you that no, the library does not have a kitchen. So we create a make shift kitchen BETWEEN ROWS OF BOOKS. No lie. We are dishing up 450 appetizers, entrees and desserts in between "Curious George" and "Pride & Prejudice". It is quite a feet...but we do it every year. So at 9am we begin to transport all that is needed. Place settings (china, silver, glasses, coffee cups, etc.), kitchen set up, bar set up, wine, liquor, ice, sugar, salt & pepper, everything. The library is located roughly 3 blocks from our building, so many items we load on carts and push through downtown. Cobble stone streets...caused this:

Yep, that's us on 7th Street, picking up the 250 knives that attempted suicide at 9:15am, I assume they were boycotting this catering as we wish we could. In the process of picking up, I gracefully kicked, like a soccer ball, a 32 oz. cup of coffee and it landed on the bottom 1/4 of my pants...pretty. So once the hemorrhaging ceased we headed on to our duties of transforming the Library from this:

To this:

Not too shabby. The evening went off with no fires, lack of food, passed out drunk people or injuries, so in my book, that is a success. The only time I had to restrain myself from punching someone in the neck involved a server, who was on rent from a local staffing firm. With the insanity of the season, we will "rent" people for the evening to have warm bodies. This event begins at 7pm and is pretty much balls to the wall until 10pm when the guests leave. So I inform staff that there are no breaks, smoking or otherwise from 6:00pm until 10pm...because I am not responsible for the pain inflicted if someone asks me in the midst of dishing up steak & lobster for 450 between the Dewey decimal system, if they can have a 10 minute break to attempt to catch lung cancer. No you moron you can not!

So for the safety of those working with us, we give them 20 minutes before our pre-shift meeting to go smoke or do whatever they must. Of course the place cleared out like someone just yelled in a crowd of teenage girls that Robert Pattinson was outside. At this point a "rented" server approaches and following was our conversation:

Rented "Do you have the number for Domino's?"

Me "I'm sorry?"

Rented "Pizza, do you have the number for Domino's?"

Me "For what?"

Rented "I'm hungry and they deliver"

Me "So you want Domino's to deliver pizza to a black tie formal dinner at the Tulsa Public Library?"

Rented "Yeah, I'm hungry"

Me...being restrained by my banquet supervisor as my eyes glaze over and I turn green..."NO...YOU CAN NOT HAVE DOMINO'S DELIVER YOU PIZZA!"

I am happy to report that no one was harmed, thanks in part to my banquet supervisor...he saved that girl's life. And on we continue...22 more days. I love my job!